The most important of quests
by Yhoretta
Summary: Jamie McCrimmon has to go, as in, "go". Unfortunately all the bathrooms in the TARDIS have simply vanished without a trace. It's up to the Doctor's tracking device to find the loo. Let's just hope that things go to plan...


"Now really Jamie, can you please let me be? I'm trying to do something very...er...important! Yes, it's definitely quite important," rambled the Doctor. He flicked the metal gadget impatiently and placed it on the coffee table as if that would make it do something a little more exciting. It did not.

Jamie McCrimmon cocked his head to the side and plopped down on the couch beside his small friend. All he'd wanted to know was the whereabouts of the bathroom. It seemed it had gone walkabouts...again.

"Whatcha' go' there Doctor?" asked the highlander, smoothing out his kilt and crossing his legs comfortably. The couch was much nicer than anything he'd ever known growing up, except perhaps the freshly cut pelt of a grazing animal. Either way, the sofa was good and Jamie made this very clear by leaning back into the fabric which turned up a bit too much leg for the Doctor's taste.

"What I've _got_ here Jamie is a specially made tracking device. You may not be aware of this but it seems that every bathroom in the TARDIS has decided to pop off!" explained the Time Lord.

"Yeah. I noticed that. It was wha' I was gunna ask ye before I sat down."

"Be that as it may, I really must finish this off soon. We can't have whole _rooms_ vanishing."

The Doctor pulled at multi-coloured wires inside the device until a faint 'Ping' was heard. He jabbed his finger onto the single, red button on the top. The screen flickered on. It beeped slowly at first as the Doctor moved it around the small room. Suddenly the noise picked up towards the door and he flew out the exit.

"Oi! Way' for me!" exclaimed Jamie, leaping up to follow like a dog and his master...more accurately, a dog who wanted a _treat_ from said master. The Doctor held the key to finding the loo and he wasn't about to wait around on the couch and let him get there first!

"This way Jamie. Do keep up," echoed the Doctor's voice from somewhere in the vast halls. Eventually the highlander stumbled across his friend who was leaning against a wall and breathing heavily.

"Can I see tha' for a wee second?" asked Jamie. The Time Lord passed over the device which was still beeping insistently.

"So I just follow this then," stated the highlander. His friend nodded. Jamie smiled and sprinted ahead. He felt bad for leaving the Doctor behind but boy did he have to go, and I mean really _go_. Jamie followed the machine's lead through many rooms and hallways, even some he'd never seen before. Finally the small, silver device had grown excruciatingly hot in Jamie's palm and the beeping had hit an unbearable rate.

"Finally," he said, stretching out his fingers, reaching for the bronze door knob…

"I'll take that, thank you very much," harrumphed the Doctor, snatching the device. He grinned cheekily at his companion and switched off the annoying machine.

"Sorry for stealin' ye wee gizmo. I jus' really have to use the loo," admitted Jamie. The Doctor nodded understandingly and took a step back, nodding to the door.

"Thanks." Jamie turned the knob and swung open the bathroom entrance. He peered inside...and froze on the spot.

"What is it? What's wrong?" asked the Doctor. Jamie slammed the door shut. His face was a bright, angry red as blush instantly coloured his cheeks.

"Some things are better left alone," was all the highlander said. He lead the Time Lord back to the console room, asking if they could stop off on Earth and use a loo _there_ instead.

Zoe Heriot stepped out of the bathroom, tightening the grip she had on her towel and running a hand through her wet hair.

"Honestly!" she sighed. "You'd think that after all the effort I put into hiding the shower those two wouldn't be able to get into any sort of trouble. Boy was I wrong!"

Zoe slipped into her room and dressed herself in a slim-fitting purple catsuit. The Doctor and Jamie walked past in the hallway, both were blushing heavily and avoiding eye contact.

"We're just going to go make some lunch before heading off to Earth, would you like anything?" offered the Time Lord.

"I'd love a sandwich thanks," chuckled Zoe. "But good luck finding the_ kitchen_!"


End file.
